migraine. impatience. unnecessary tears. exhaustion.

A migraine which killed my entire day.

Impatience from someone I thought should understand me best.

Unnecessary tears because of someone's impatience.

And finally, utter exhaustion from a day gone wrong.

Pretty much sums up how I feel right now.

i scribbled at
8:00 PM

Ultra hectic couple of days..it's been nothing but moving and packing, and more moving and more packing.

Officially moved out, and now we're back to my aunt's old place. This is gonna be home for the next month or so, before we finally move into our own home! Can't wait for all the renovations to complete. I haven't even picked out my wall colours yet. Haha.

Very tiring though..I haven't had time for myself all weekend till now. Even so, I think this week is gonna be devoted to moving stuffs from one house to the other. Sighh. And the consequences of this? I'm falling sick. =(

Not gonna have internet at home either..which explains why I'm blogging in the middle of the day. *ahem*

Doesn't feel like CNY is coming..only a mere couple of days before my moomoo year will give way to the tiger year. At least we kind of have our own place for the new year, so it won't be so awkward. =)

Gonna stock up on goodies! Hope I don't fall sick for real..*cross fingers*

Just realised that this year when I get all week off next week, my mum and sis gotta go back to work on the 17th! Siann. One whole week with no one at home to accompany me. Bleahh.

Okays back to the important stuffs...

*sniffles*

i scribbled at
12:42 PM

Went to the airport after work to send the boyfriend off. He's going on holiday but I'm not!!! =(

Anyways, that was like my first time in 24 years sending off someone at the airport by myself. I'm pretty amazed at this revelation. Haha. All other times, I was always with a group of people.

And honestly? The feeling sucks. Cos' as you watch the person wave goodbye and disappear from view, you're left all alone to head back the way you came. Sighh.

As I began my lonely way home (let me exaggerate a little can), I came to the conclusion that depending on which side of the gate you're at, the feeling is different.

If I were the one flying off on a holiday, sure, I'd miss my darling (and everyone else) back home, but at the same time, I'd probably be too busy having fun and maximising my R&R time to pine too much.

Instead, I'm now the one missing my boy muchlyy even though I was with him only a few hours ago. It's not so much that I have to cling on to him every second..it's more of the knowledge that I won't be seeing him for the next couple of days. Especially when we happen to work in the same office and see each other practically everyday.

I guess it's because when you're the one left behind here at home, everyday's some sort of a routine, and there are certain things you either take for granted, or are simply used to. So, when the routine is broken, you feel the difference all the more keenly. Whereas if you're overseas, you'll be too busy taking in the sights and sounds to bother about routine. What kind of routine would you have in a foreign land?

And so, I've come to a second conclusion. I am totally and completely not made for LDRs.

Which makes me admire, all the more, couples who can keep a long-distance relationship going strong. Eventually getting married and spending the rest of their lives together too. Like my darling cousin, for one.

My boy better not decide to drop me a bombshell one fine day and move back to myanmar. I will so totally....feel lost.

Almost scary being in a relationship sometimes. After awhile, you just kinda forget how it feels like to live without your significant other. I was asking myself just now, what was life like before mb came along? Wasn't I doing perfectly fine on my own? Not that I'm incapable of living on my own now. I just happen to like life in couplehood. Especially with him. Hee.

Ohwells. That's life for you; the many different stages and chapters. And the people who enter and leave. All I know is, I hate goodbyes; both the temporary and the permanent. Particularly the latter.

Anyhow, I'm going to have fun nonetheless, whether or not the boyfriend's here. Although I don't see how fun it's going to get when I have to work this saturday. Bleahh.

Ohh heck it. I miss you all the same.

i scribbled at
10:56 PM

And so ends a hectic monday..extremely eventful, I might add.

Somehow, my bosses got wind of news that yours truly is considering a change in career, though absolutely nothing concrete has been confirmed. To be honest, I have been thinking quite abit lately about a job switch. But not enough to go running from my current job and towards the other direction yet.

Was extremely surprised when they requested to meet me today; lady boss is still on maternity leave, so we had the review meeting at her house.

To cut a long story short..I shall be officially promoted with a pay raise come tomorrow. They actually offered me an amount higher than I suggested. Can't say I'm not happy..I'm certainly glad to finally draw a somewhat decent pay, though at the back of my mind, I happen to know a place which can pay me muchh higher. But I shall not dwell on that for now.

Won't deny that the career path they've mapped out for me is fairly attractive. And involves hell alot of hard work as well. I guess everything comes with a price..this turn of events doesn't come FOC.

Well! Hopefully things will proceed rather smoothly from now and I can live up to whatever's expected of me. I can't say there haven't been times when I just felt like quitting or taking a long break. I still want my long break, though quitting isn't an option for the time being. Heh.

On a side note, my boy's going overseas this week and I am sooo gonna miss him. God I sound like some lovesick clingy gf. *shudders* Should be having plenty to occupy my time though..what with all the packing nonsense.

House-moving is taking a new turn everyday, and I really wonder what's going to spring up tomorrow. I'm getting really sick and tired of hearing a different plan from my mum almost daily.

And honestly? Quite annoyed with the latest news from her. Looks like the new house isn't going to be home sweet home after all. I can shelve all plans about decorating my room and how comfy I wanna make it. What's the use if I'm gonna have to move again in potentially another year or so? Not even enough time for dust to collect all over the house.

Sighh.

I just want a place I can call home. Why is that so difficult?

i scribbled at
1:09 AM