This week has passed by in a blur actually. Spending days at the hospital does kind of make one lose track of time and date.

At any rate, am really really glad that jc is recovering quickly! Hopefully he can be discharged soon..then everyone around him can breathe a sigh of relief. =)

Looking at his determination and strength, being so brave in facing such a situation...I wonder, if our roles were reversed and I was the one caught in this circumstance, will I be able to summon the same kind of courage?

And I wonder..

Anyways, something occured to me the other day when I thought of the fine line between life and death. Incidentally, this was before jc's accident; I was just being a crybaby back home home when I recalled all the memories and saw all the family photos.

All along I've believed in living each day like it's your last (although I don't actually do that), so that you won't have any regrets should you suddenly leave this world. But another thought came to mind just then.

I guess it's true that death is a form of escapism, especially for pple who view it as the solution to all their problems. That's how suicide cases come about, I suppose. And no, by saying that, I'm not advocating suicide nor running away from the problem. I just happen to agree with this view, cos' it's true that once someone dies, it's really those living who suffer.

Guilt over harsh words uttered, heartache at having lost the chance to say "I love you" one last time, happy memories which can no longer be replicated.

My other perspective has somehow made me less afraid of death. I admit, I do fear it to a certain extent. I mean, I've always felt that I don't want to leave with things half undone, words not said, hugs not given, etc. I don't want to leave with regrets.

Even then, there's a silver cloud to this lining, ironic as it may sound. I guess death brings about a different kind of reunion.

Okay if you're reading till here and starting to worry, please don't. I swear I'm fine. Really! Haha. Just that this topic sounds so...morbid.

Now that I think of jc's accident..it's reaffirmed what I've always thought of, that riding bikes is pretty dangerous. Even if you're a safe driver, it doesn't mean those around you are. Pretty much heng suay I suppose. But right..I still want to learn to ride lehh. Haha. Those who know my mummy, please DON'T tell her I said this on my blog. You'll just be granting me early death, seriously. Lol.

Maybe if I can just find a way to learn without her knowing..hmm. Not like she'll ever give me the opportunity to really buy a bike and ride. But it's still a skill, nonetheless. And I've always wanted to try it haha. If only daddy learnt when he said he wanted to..how nice it'd be, father and daughter riding together and feeling the wind rushing towards them, the thrill of the entire experience. Just once and I'll be happy.

But it'll always remain just this, an unfulfilled dream.

i scribbled at
12:56 AM

Picked up this line from joan's blog:

'Fate determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

You know that I'll refuse to let you go, and won't be walking out of your life anytime soon, right?

It's a promise. =)

i scribbled at
1:03 AM

Haven't done arts and crafts for the longest time ever, and today I spent the entireeee day being an arty farty fart!

As I named the album I uploaded on facebook, the day of sesame street, stress balls, finger puppets and dreamcatchers! =))

Sometimes I really wonder how did I ever get an F9 for art in sec 1. Haha.

I think we did a pretty good job today! The 5 of us..wanqi, shiqi, shimin, bern and geri! I'm lazy to upload a picture of our masterpieces cos' my blogger always goes abit mad whenever a photo is involved. Bleahh. Go to my facebook to view if you're kaypoh! Lol.

I certainly hope that the cambodian kids will have as much fun doing them as we did today..guys might find such arts and crafts a little childish but! They're funn. =)

And! I feel like chopping off my fringe again! My hair, actually, but I can't la, I'd look freakier than ever. Puiii. It's that nonsensical moment again when I just can't wait to head to the salon and cut it short short short, but I know I'll regret it the moment the scissors leaves my hair. Hahaha.

The fringe will definitely have to go before 6th july! Not all, but some. Just short enough for my usual grumbles. =D

The next week seems to be packed full of activities...all related to ISP. But I think they'll be fun, albeit tiring. Still! It's all so exciting!

And I really really have to remember to get my jabs. ARGHH. Hate jabs and needles!!

Okays I know there's just something I have to go and do now, that doesn't involve sleeping.

If only I can just remember what that thing is...

i scribbled at
11:32 PM

In the blink of an eye, one year has passed.

It seems like only yesterday was daddy's last day of treatment. Seems like not so long ago in the past when we saw that gorgeous rainbow on our way home from the hospital, and a very happy song was playing on the radio.

The rainbow I took to signify more good things to come, happiness ahead, and most importantly, that my daddy would be healthy once again.

I never thought that this father's day, we'd be spending it without daddy around.

Anyhows, I'm really glad that we'll get a chance to stop by the columbarium before driving into malaysia tmr.

Happy Father's Day, my dearest daddy.

I miss you.

i scribbled at
10:24 PM

Took me forever to try and check the exam results last night la. I think the whole of ntu tried to log on to the site and the servers went mad. As usual la.

Strangely, I tried degree audit and the exam results page, but both didn't have my final sem's results! I thought I got the date wrong so I just hecked it. Until my friend smsed me to ask then I realised it really came out at 12 midnight!

Left my computer to get something while the page was loading (I expected to see page error actually haha). So I got a complete shock when I came back and saw the monitor screen with my results.

Let's just say I'm happy with my grades! Though I do wish audrey gave us a slightly better grade for fyp. Haha. Yayy!! A burden off my mind.

And I fulfilled my promise. =)

I only wish you could be there to see it on the 22nd.

Anyhows, spent an entire day at wanqi's aunt's place yesterday to bake for saturday's fundraising. It was really quite fun haha. And her uncle is pro la. The big chef! Must listen to instructions. =p

He bakes a totally mean batch of choc chip cookies! Lijing and I fainted and went to heaven with the first bite. Okay that's damn exaggerating but they're really, really good!! And her aunt makes super fantastic carrot cake la!

I just re-read the last paragraph, and it sounds as if I went on a food trip yesterday instead of a baking session. Lol.

Forgot to bring my camera though I kept reminding myself to the night before. Luckily mun pun brought his. I think there are tons of unglam shots in his camera now. Especially when there's shiqi around haha!

Truth to be told, I didn't expect to gel very well with my ISP teammates even before the trip..though we all know it's important to get along with one another. These carwash and baking and whatnot sessions definitely help. And almost everyone seems pretty okay in mixing around out of their own cliques.

Too bad there hasn't been a time yet when every single one of the 16 of us can gather together on the same day. Haha. I hope there'll be at least one day where we can do that before flying to cambodia!

I'm so glad I signed up to go on this volunteer trip, really. Haven't even gone there, but already it's giving me things to do, something to look forward to, and having really great people to get to know. Hopefully it can only get better and better! =)

I just caught sight of some bird-looking finger puppet on my table, and it immediately reminded me of ririn from bleach. Okay I know this is damn off but I'm just blogging whatever comes to mind immediately haha! Only difference is that the puppet is yellow and ririn is blue. Lol.

I still like nova in his turtle form though. Cuteee! =p And I swear that claude in his rabbit form looks just like the dumbass raving rabbit on my dslite game. Even though ling jiejie says he doesn't. Hahaha.

Okays time for lunchhh!!

i scribbled at
12:18 PM