I just found out that my office is quite near lamu abigail's! She is sooo gonna kill me if she reads this. HAHA.

It's like one straight road down from my office to hers, cos' I'm smack between bugis and lavender mrt. Yay next time got lunch kaki! Assuming we're both in office. Lol.

Loved the meetup with my darlings just now! Although there was a last minute headache over sp's gift. Haha. Heng bern and I chanced upon the perfect bag! Probably one of our quickest purchases ever.

And I found this shop selling ultra gorgeous notebooks and stuffs! Omgoshh totally love at first sight can..and probably every time after the first! I think it's called wood would, at the cathay. I heart their stuffs! But damn ex la. Shucks man that shop hits my weakness for pretty paper and stationery bulls eye.

Dinner at ichiban was alrights..prices going up but the same can't be said for quality of food. Ohh we saw the cutest toddler sitting at the table next to ours! She was super cheerful and friendly! Waved at us, giggled and laughed at ekoh's ridiculous antics. Kawaii-ne! And her parents were really nice too..we ended up giving them a slice of the birthday cake and took photos with their daughter! Cute kids totally make my day. =)

Went down to tea chapter near chinatown after dinner, cos' dear ekoh wanted to go and appreciate tea. Haha. Seriously, I never would have thought of going to such a place, if not for their suggestion. The place is pretty nice though, kinda quaint and quiet (at least, before we went there haha). Reminds me a little of essential brew, what with the sitting on the floor business.

The only disappointing part of the whole experience was our waitress. Don't know if she's new on the staff or what, but she left us with a rather unpleasant feeling shrouding the entire time we were there. Didn't help that she was very vague with explanations and instructions, and I think she even taught us how to pour the tea wrongly la. At least, that's according to eileen and the rest who've been there before and loved it.

The best part was, when we asked her the difference between white peony tea and some silver needle tea, she literally told us (in chinese), "this is white peony, that is silver needle."

Like dots to the max can! Machiam we can't read off the menu ourselves. *rolls eyes*

And she didn't teach us the correct way of preparing the tea either. Such as pouring away the first round cos' it's supposed to remove oil from the fried tea leaves or something. We ended up drinking down tea and oil. Euww.

The most annoying part was the bill! All thanks to her lack of concise explanation about their billing system, we ended up spending more than intended and couldn't even finish the tea. Crazy lehh, she thinks we're water tea barrels with unlimited volume sia.

Okay that's enough complaining for a day. Haha. Just don't like the service given, or rather, lack of service. What the heck la, the customer is always right!

Needless to say, the 7 of us indulged in endless camwhoring and hilarious exchanges the entire night. As always. Hahaha. Although huizhen was the defacto photographer. As always again. =p She works better than the multi-shot function on a camera sia. Haha! And she's freaking good at taking candid shots! Ultra many unglam pictures of everyone but her liao.

And my poor camera got showered in wasabi and soya sauce! Damn sad la. Cleaned it the best I could, and I think it's alright la. Still, my heart dropped to the floor when it dropped and hit the saucer. =( Although it's not a fantastic cam, it's still my baobei camwhoring tool! Without it I'd be so lost la. Haha.

Wahlau didn't realise it's so late liao! Another few more days and I won't be able to have such late nights anymore. Haii. Gonna miss my freedom! But it's high time I started working I guess.

CFG tmr, hope it goes well! First (and hopefully last) time on stage performing to a few hundred people in the audience. Scary can! Ehh I realised that didn't sound quite right. Performed to thousand plus before, but that was with an entire band, and I was always seated in the last row! Tmr is a freaking dance item, and please pray that we'll all remember our steps. Omgoshh omgoshh omgoshh!!

Okays bedtime! Early day tmr, and long day ahead. Nights world! =)

i scribbled at
2:01 AM

I know I should be studying for my jap test, but I just feel too lazy to sit down with the textbook and verbs list and all! Sitting in front of the laptop takes much less effort. Haha. Excuses and more excuses. =p

Caught thomas' band leeson in action at baybeats esplanade last night! Really enjoyed myself being immersed in the crazy-loud and heart-thumping music. It was just a tad too loud. Our ears were ringing after that. Haha.

I want to put up shots of their performance and the poster we gave thomas, but my blogger always screws up the paragraphing! And I hate to see my paragraphs go haywire. Bleahh. Anyways, photos are up on my facebook if anyone's interested!

Electrico's performing tonight but I won't have time to go down! So sad..they're a pretty cool band. Was just reading about them in a mag that day. Can't remember if it was cleo or something else.

Playing board games in the middle of the night is fun! Really! Think scrabble gone wrong, with nonsensical words and dialect and singlish all thrown in at the end. =p

Someone should invent singapore-style scrabble with the aim of forming words found in everyday singlish-cum-dialect conversations. Motor vehicles' engine noises will be given extra points. Nonexistent words which you can pronounce as spelt on the game board will hit jackpot. Haha!

I think only one person will understand what the hell I'm talking about. Lol. Freaking hilarious! Couldn't keep my laughter in although my head was pounding away as if there was construction work going on inside.

We should do that again sometime k! I was damn entertained, really. Thankyouu for a fun night I've really missed! =)

Meeting my dears later to celebrate ek and sp's bday! I suspect we'll be meeting up alot less come next week onwards..and when everyone really starts work proper. And speaking of work, I need to buy a whole new wardrobe! I have no officewear can. I was, like, always togged in the same few outfits during my intership days la. Wahlau see myself also super sian. Haha.

I want to go clothes-shopping! After I figure out what the dresscode is like in office. I hope it's dressy! My interviewer was really dressed up in a pretty outfit that week. Wheee.

Going to miss my short shorts and skirts and minidresses once I start work mans. My entire wardrobe is going to be so under-used la. Sad. =( Nevermind, people please remember to date me out on weekends and on nights after work okays! Then I can dress up and go out havoc again! Don't intend to give up my social life. I just hope I have time for a social life. *crosses fingers*

Starting a new chapter at last..and finding my way through the mist. Hopefully there will be a rainbow at the end. =)

i scribbled at
12:38 PM

Okays! Settled the job stuffs already.

Called up the company and am going to sign the contract on monday. I start on wednesday! That leaves me with..4 days of slacker life left before I start working my ass off for the next how many years. Ohmans!

I guess the lack of certain answers to many of my questions sort of come with the kind of industry the company is in..the bottomline of every answer she gave me is that the job is freaking performance-based. Good and bad I suppose..meaning if I do fantastically well and they love me, I'll advance up really quickly and my pay adjusted accordingly too. Sounds good!

Of course there's always the flipside, which is a minor source of worry for me now cos' I still don't know exactly what I'll be doing, and whether I can do it well. But there's always a challenge in everything, so I shall just take it on and see how things go!

Yippeee. Feel tons better now that everything's confirmed, save for the signature on paper. Shall ignore mummy's naggings about how the company is being very smart and shortchanging me. Heck la, I chose this road myself so whatever comes my way, I'll just take it.

Learnt an ultra hilarious way to cheer myself up last night, but it really worked! I was laughing silly to myself in the mirror. Haha. Thankyouu for that super funny suggestion! =)

I predict lots of overtime once work starts..she pretty much spelt it all out to me already. Not very regular working hours; the only perk so far is that office isn't toooo far from home, so I think I can leave house at 9am every morning! =) That's even better than school days with morning classes. Lol.

Hope I made the right choice in taking this, even though it doesn't completely fall within the category of jobs I really want. I don't like to have regrets, so everything which happens shall simply become useful experiences. =)

Meeting cam'on later to catch thomas' band in action at baybeats! Their recordings online sound pretty good. It's been a long while since I last went for an arts performance of any kind. Miss those days!

And I think I gotta leave those 3 tests to the near future for now..don't wanna jeopardise work or that by juggling more than I can handle. Shall see how the first few weeks of my new job goes, then decide if I can take on the studying part. Seeing as how I still have tuition and jap classes.

Not a bad friday after all! Though it started out kind of moody. And I'm not going to care about mummy's grumbles for the next 4 days; my last few days of freedom! I'm going to play till I go silly! =p

And joan darling! I'm so sorry I forgot to text you before your flight! Hope you're happily back in UK alrights..tkkaire over there! And hopefully we can meet up a short while when you're next back. Call me k! Loveyouu!

i scribbled at
4:25 PM

The initial happiness and excitement, now marred by irritation and a desire to just shut her out.

I'm not so power that I have bargaining power over salary la okays. It's good enough that I actually got an offer.

I know she's happy for me, but her nonstop grumbles and complaints just overshadow everything else. Yes yes there are better jobs out there, I probably can find one which pays higher and doesn't require me to work alternate saturdays, but given the job market situation now, I have no right to be picky ya.

And I was so filled with excitement when I received the call. I even thought of how I wanted to blog it down. Yet now, whatever I'm typing is so totally not what I expected myself to say.

Thanks for the congratulations, but it's not enough to cover the fact that she thinks I'm stupid for limiting my options.

See the bigger picture please. Arghh.

And I don't see a point in going for monday's interview anymore. Seeing as how I have to confirm my decision tomorrow. All I have to do now is to make her understand and accept the fact that I'm cancelling the interview.

Tmd. Can't believe I have to think so hard over how to break the news. I bet she'll kick up a big fuss again.

Damn sian now.

At least my day out today was pretty good. Thank god for the friends in my life.

i scribbled at
12:45 AM

Today was indulgence day!

Actually I was just supposed to accompany lings on all her pampering sessions, but ended up doing a mani and pedi toooo.

I likee! =)

Now I have pretty PINK nails and toenails. But they make me happy! Shit mans this could become an addiction. Add on to my ever-growing list of addictions. Lol.

It was quite funny watching lings agonise over how not to ruin her french manicure. Been there, done that, so I totally know the headache. And I am so unsympathetic. Oops. Hahaha.

And she's totally tempting me with the japan trip! I also want to go. =( Actually, I can if I want. At the very least, mummy seems to want me to go. But 2 weeks lehh. And I'm still jobless. Not very nice to take off on a holiday in the middle of nowhere. Plus, my tuition kids are having o levels soon. And I'm broke!

Enough said.

Shan't think shan't think shan't think about japan! *psycho myself*

Was playing hexic with my fellow goldfish and wahlau, I totally suck at it! Used to score even better than he does lor. Arghhhh. Am reminded of the bejeweled days back in tj when the few of us would just sit there silently and glue ourselves to our handphone screens playing that ultra addictive game.

Miss those days! Maybe I should go download bejeweled into my handphone again. Haha.

And ohh! I received another interview call today from a company which I simply didn't have any recollection of. Attributed it to short term memory at not remembering what companies I've applied for. And guess what! I think they plucked my resume and details from some jobsite la. Cos' I really didn't apply to that company!

Great, now I have no idea what position I'll be interviewed for, and their website doesn't make very much sense to me. I still can't catch the gist of what they sell. Haha. Oops.

And I owe someone a movie treat because I lost. Ehh don't come and argue with me ar, I know you confirm will. Just bloody accept that you won and I lost! Deal already okay!

So strange right, fighting for the "rights" of losing. Haha.

I want to meetup with buddy soon! Have I told you how much I love our phone conversations? Lol. But you can read my mind la huh, don't have to say you also know. Tkkaire of your back alrights! Don't be a silly goose and act power can. HAHA. =p

And qilun was freaking gentlemanly last night la. First time in my life a guy walked me all the way to my doorstep! Impressed sia. Haha. I think I'm pretty lucky actually. I have guy friends who make sure I don't walk on the side of the pavement that's next to the road, guys who pull out chairs for me, open car doors for me, blah blah blah..the perks of being a girl! Wheee. =p

I sound damn bimbotic. As what lings was saying, I've graduated from being called an ah lian in sec sch, to bimbo from jc onwards, and now princess! I like this new term. Yays. =D Thankyou darling coussie for promoting me to princess status! Though still a bimbotic princess. Hiao and proud of it!

That was super random. But I don't care. I'm in a random mood today! And I need to wakeup early tomorrow but I'm still awake now. Not good..time to sleep!

Shall decide tomorrow whether or not to take those 3 tests.

Goodnights! =)

i scribbled at
1:48 AM

August is almost over, and still I haven't quite found my direction. Not so much of direction in life; rather, direction in work. I certainly don't equate work to life.

Lings' question the other day about what I really want to do got me thinking about the path I'm still undecided on. Seems like all the answers and options I gave her in reply point to anything and everything unrelated to what I studied. Haha.

I don't regret going into business, although I do wonder at times how it'd be like now if I followed my heart and studied english literature or psychology instead. A part of me still wants to, actually. I'd much rather be a student. But really, I enjoy the studying process, stress from projects and assignments nonwithstanding. Lol.

While I enjoyed (almost all) my modules in ntu, I don't have this overwhelming urge to find a job related to my degree. Don't ask me why; I just don't.

I'm still stressed over being unemployed, and hoping for more interviews while at the same time, I really don't enjoy the stress which comes with them. Pretty much paradoxical. Haha.

Funny thing is, I have many people and friends telling me not to rush into looking for a first job, cos' it's important to find something suitable. And of them all, they're pretty much divided into 2 categories: follow your passion (which usually means low salary) vs find a high paying job in a recognised company (so that it's easier to switch jobs in future).

Headache to the max.

Saw an interesting email just now which really made me sit up. I think I'll try for it and see how. Chances of getting it are pretty low, but I have nothing to lose anyways. Just try lor. If heng heng I really do get it, then happiness! =)

And no, it's not applying for a job. Haha.

Supposed to go on the singapore flyer later, but looking at the weather, no idea if we're still going. I want to see a gorgeous sunset! Please don't rain. =(

Suddenly have this urge to go out to sea. Or high up somewhere in some mountain. At least, I know such places can give me a pretty view of a sunset to remember.

Was scrolling through my photo gallery earlier, and saw so many pictures I've taken the past 3 years with all the different groups of people in my life. It's like watching a still movie of my life playing in front of me, and all the swirling emotions which accompany every snapshot.

Happiness, sadness, excitement, innocence, regret, contentment.

And so much more.

I typed an entire paragraph but deleted it after re-reading. Feel like smacking myself for putting down those thoughts in words. Arghh. What's over is over. No point reminiscing about what will never be.

Yikes I don't like this entry. Sounds so moody and unlike me. I think being cooped up all day at home is really bad. I totally need to get out there and do something! Can't slack legitimately, so I guess the only thing left for me to do is work. What the heck, even if I want to learn something, I need money. And so it all boils down to the same thing: find a job! Puiii.

I want to travel. Go somewhere far away. Nearby also can. I want to snorkel again!

Sighh.

i scribbled at
5:18 PM

I am ultra full now!

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11:29 PM

Although I hate cramps, I'm so glad that my dayima is finally here!

That means an end to emo-ness and extreme moodswings, crybaby moments and whatnot. I feel happy again! Wheeee. =)

Madness la. If it's like this every month, really can faint. Haha.

Today's weather is ultra rainy la. Even as I'm blogging, I'm freezing in front of my laptop. Brrrr. I hate to be cold when I'm having cramps, cos' it totally makes me feel worse!

The worst was this morning, when I had a mix of cramps, gastric and diarrhoea just before jap class. Don't ask me how I managed that; I want to know how also. Totally can die lehh. Heng it got better after that. Popped panadol again after dimsum lunch! I loveee. =) The dimsum, not the panadol.

I really think panadol should hire me to be their spokesperson or ambassador or something. I am so totally contributing to their yearly revenue and profits la.

CFG full-dress was pretty alright, but seriously, still kind of blurry and disorganised here and there. And there's something I just can't get clear. Is it "skit" or "sketch"? I still think it's "skit" lehh..imagine if they got it wrong, then so diu lian la. Okay maybe it's just me, and especially after I started teaching tuition, but I'm super fussy about english nowadays. Oops.

Was complaining to lings and picking on the imperial treasure restaurant's mooncakes brochure earlier. Completely filled with errors right from the first line! Okay okay some of you may be thinking, wahlau say until machiam your english damn power, but at least I know I'm above average. And their mistakes are so glaring la!

Anyways, someone said that my english deserves 11/10! Happyness or what? =p

Am totally loving my samsung! Still getting confused over the keys once in awhile, and the keypad is smallllll, not to mention the "insert symbols" function is freaking troublesome, but other than these small gripes, I pretty much love everything else! The sound isn't ultra fantastic, but fairly decent for a phone. In short, love it! Gonna love it even more so long as it doesn't cock up like my nokia did once I bought it.

Caught 4bia and I still can't believe I actually agreed to watch a horror movie so readily. Or should I say, not just one horror movie, but a freaking four-in-one. Omgoshh la!

But in all honesty, it was pretty good! Though I was tense for, like, more than half the movie and my dear companion was laughing at me. Bleahh. Didn't catch all the scary scenes cos' my trusty jacket was shielding my protesting eyes. Lol. But yeah, not a bad show to catch! Good enough for horror movie buffs I think.

Okay I've crapped enough. Just feeling super high now that the worst of my cramps have passed me over for now! And after swinging between happiness and sadness like crazy the past week or so, it's about time I enjoyed some highhh moments!

Simple things make me happy. Really. =)

i scribbled at
2:26 AM

Today's weather was such a dampener on the heartstrings walk.

The rain didn't abate; rather, it got heavier as we were walking. Feel quite disappointed that the beneficiaries couldn't enjoy a nice walk out, but ohwells. Couldn't be helped. In the end, we just walked around padang and sent them up the bus.

And of all times, I had to kena my cramps right smack during the walk la. At first it was still bearable; soon it became totally unbearable. Yanghui was right to say that the rain and cold winds probably did nothing to help. Totally felt like throwing up but I simply couldn't, because I didn't eat enough for myself to throw up.

Feel super bad that I had to trouble all my cam'on teammates yet again..as though that time in cambodia wasn't bad enough. Everyone was already cold and wet from the rain, and they still had to go out of their way to make sure I could walk upright, buy me hot water/milo, run around flagging a cab for me, and mabel even accompanied me all the way home. As a result, she missed dinner with them. Arghh. =(

That's why I always hope that if the dreaded cramps hit, I'm at home. Then I won't have to inconvenience everyone else around me..super paisehh la. They're damn sweet..thankyouu all so muchh k! Sorry for the trouble, but I'm ultra touched at the lengths you all went to.

And shucks, the cramps are coming back again. I just knew the pain-free moments were too good to last.

Jap class tomorrow morning, and rehearsal in the evening. Don't know if I'll be able to lun through everything..so sian. Confirm will cramp the moment I wake up. =(

On a happier note, I got my new phone! Recontracted with singtel again, although I know I said that I don't want to be their customer anymore. But I'm lazy to wait till october, plus, I don't know which provider to switch to. All have their pros and cons lehh.

Transferring music files to my samsung F400 now; still find it abit hard to believe I actually got a samsung phone. It's like the complete opposite of nokia la. Even the "back" button is on the opposite side. Gonna take some getting used to..but it's quite a nice-looking phone. Plus, it has this rather cool speakers which I can slide up to reveal! Dual slide phone. Haha.

Okays I totally need to take my panadol again then go to bed. Hate this hate this hate this! Sighh.

Hope your leg's better too...tkkaire alrights. *huggs*

i scribbled at
12:55 AM

Met up with lots of people today, and it was pretty fun. =)

Caught the fireworks at esplanade; not as crowded this year, somehow. Maybe cos' it's a friday? Anyways, I didn't think the performance was ultra spectacular, though still gorgeous, definitely. I love fireworks. =)

Thinking if I should go for tomorrow night's as well, but can't think of anyone to go with. See how la. Maybe I'll be completely shagged out by heartstrings walk and tuition before that.

There's actually someone I have in mind to go with, but forget it. It'll just raise still more questions from people who think there's something going on when there isn't.

And to set the record straight, I am freaking not attached. Sorry for giving some people the wrong idea; maybe it's the way I blog, but that's my style ya.

There is no mutual or one-sided or whatever shit that I've been hearing about. Nothing, nada, none whatsoever anymore.

And no, I am not going to wait since you requested.

Feel better getting that off my chest. Been doing alot of thinking lately and came to the conclusion that it's not worth headache-ing over. What the hell, there's nothing to begin with, headache for what?

And I've learnt many lessons from the past failure. I am selfish, yes, but I never want to be hurt again. Takes too much to walk out of a misery which could have been avoided. And so, to prevent falling from a great height, just bloody don't climb up so high la.

I sound so angsty. Haha.

Ohh heck it.

There are 3 good friends in this world I'd do anything for, and I hope they know who they are.

You're one of them; thankyou for making me happy always. Don't feel sorry for the times I'm down k, cos' when there are ups, there's gotta be downs.

And so, goodnights world.

i scribbled at
2:25 AM

Joan darling, this is for you!

ROOSTER.

We both three know what I'm talking about. =p

I know I'm falling sick when:

I'm freezing while everyone else is hot.
I break my record for using tissue paper.
I get more easily irritated/emo/sensitive.
I feel like sleeping before midnight (this hasn't happened in..darn long).

Just don't let me fall sick tomorrow! I have an entire day of activities planned with two different groups of people I totally adore.

心動心痛. A nice song I haven't heard for quite awhile. But so very true.

Too tired to blog. I think I shall sleep when my sister does.

i scribbled at
11:03 PM

Steamboat with cam'on was super fun! Ultra fulllll now. *burp*

The mountain of food they bought was crazy la. In the end, really couldn't finish. Haha. Wasted! And I can't believe we had "useless" food like tomatoes and chilli and lemon and lime and whatnot but...no prawns. -___-'''

Steamboat just doesn't seem right without prawns la. But ohh! We discovered many uses of cheese in grill! Think we can add the word "cheese" to "cam'onions" already. Lol.

Come to think of it, why is it spelt as "cam'onion" instead of "cam'onian" huh. I was telling the rest, I can picture a perfect logo for our team based on that: an onion holding a camera. HAHA.

Okay damn lame I know. Who ask mun pun to spell it as onion!

Totally felt like a student once again in ntu la. I miss those days! Haii. Now all I feel is stressed over being jobless when everyone around me is getting employed one by one with each day. Stress stress stress!!! =(

I can only take minimal comfort in knowing that at least I have a tiny bit of income from tuition..which, incidentally, is about to increase because my students want tuition twice a week now. Hmm.

Speaking of my students, yiwen was damn hilarious that day! I told them each to write me an essay so that I could go through with them. It was something about overcoming a phobia..and hers was regarding hydrophobia from a drowning incident. The whole essay started off fairly well, with the main idea being that she enjoyed swimming alot, and loved to dive. Until I read something about her forgetting to wear a life jacket to dive. And I was, like, HUH? Since when does anyone wear a life jacket to dive? Kind of defeats the purpose right. So htet paing and I were trying not to look too amused, whereas poor yiwen couldn't figure out why she was off-track with her idea of wearing a life jacket to dive. Lol.

Okay not very funny. But her essay really baffled me at that part. Haha.

It's really quite a joy to tutor them, although I'm a little apprehensive about how they seem to think that my english is freaking zai. I guess my previous students all drove me nuts with their heckcare attitude and refusal to pay attention during tuition. It's a fairly nice feeling to know that everything you teach is being eagerly absorbed. =)

To sidetrack a little, my specs are still not repaired! Or rather, I just can't find the exact same frame anywhere lehh. All no more stock. Damn sian la..I love this frame of mine, and it didn't come cheap to begin with. What with the fact that my degree is ultra high and therefore my lenses are very expensive, I'm not quite willing to pay another few hundred bucks just to make a new pair of glasses. Arghhh. But looks like I have no choice. And my specs have been driving me crazy since it suddenly spoilt in cambodia. Can't even wear it straight! =(

Ohh and, I am so not going to buy the iphone already la. So ex! And singtel's plans are damn crap. Totally need to change a new phone but my plan with singtel only ends in late october..gotta lun another 2 months! Cos' I don't think I want to stay on as their customer. Been waiting for the longest time to switch to another provider. Bleahh.

Can't decide what phone to get next..the omnia is pretty attractive, but around the same price as the iphone. Although I think the omnia's functions are better la. I don't need such a high-tech expensive phone though. Just a simple one will do..but I can't deny that gorgeous phones with many features are pretty appealing. Toying with the idea of some other samsung touchscreen phone but..shall see what's available to me come october.

Lately been having weird headaches which throb on the right side for a while then disappear. Darn irritating! Maybe it comes as a package with pms, but never had that before. And my monthly dayima is totally screwed up la. I have a screwed up system, unfortunately. I simply have no idea when it plans to come and when it does, whether it's going to kill me or not. This month's is completely off its rocker again and not coming still. Don't know if the stress of graduating and being unemployed is causing my body to go more haywire than usual. Siann.

Still keeping my fingers crossed about the AE job position..hope they'll call me up with good news! I don't know if it's because I really, really want that job, or because I'm just so darn desperate that I'll settle for anything now. But I do want it, all the same. Haha. Please call me and tell me you'll hire me! *prays prays prays*

Been praying for a sign for something else too, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's unnecessary after all. Some things in life just aren't meant to have an answer; at least, not when you want it. Often, the answer pops up someday, somehow. I shall just be patient and take things one step at a time. If it's meant to be yours, it will be eventually.

This week is jam packed with activities! What with CFG coming up and all..and saiii, I still haven't studied my japanese verbs. Test is coming in a few weeks I think. Shucks!

Off to lawyer's office again tmr..so sian la. Everything week or two gotta travel down just to pass them something or sign some document. Can't they just do it all at one short?! Not say very near lor. Super waste time and money travelling!

My life now feels pretty stagnant. Still suspended between the worlds of a student and a working adult. Geri in transition. Good and bad la..maybe more of the latter than the former.

I should just start the trainer business we were talking about during steamboat earlier. Jeremy hurry go find a few wives for me to train lehh! Then I can say I'm working, at the very least. Haha. Damn crap la, but it was super funny all the same. Haven't laughed so much for a long time.

I miss the cambodia trip, the 12 days we all spent together, the friendships forged and understanding developed. I miss being part of a big, big group and feeling totally happy, not bogged down by realities back home.

Ohwells. Stop dreaming already geri. Life can't always be slack and smooth-sailing.

And so I crash back down to actual reality.

While my own reality is out of this world.

i scribbled at
12:32 AM

I can finally have a good sleep tonight!

Thankyouu for worrying enough to call me, even though I know that endless long hours at work tire you out. I really feel so, so muchh better after letting everything out of my system. I won't apologise for making you my chu qi tong, cos' I know that you do it willingly, and we both know that I'll do the same for you, no matter what. =)

If there's ever a guy I totally love unromantically in this world, you would be the one. Thankyouu for being the da ge I never had.

For being there for me whenever stormy clouds brew, and for being my pillar of strength when my world crashed down around me.

I don't know what else to say, and I know you'll tell me not to be silly cos' after all, what are good friends for? But believe me when I say that I really mean this from the bottom of my heart, that I really cherish our friendship and everything you've done for me.

That call really meant alot, alot to me..you wouldn't believe how happy I was just to see your name flash across my lauyapok handphone screen. Omgoshh I'm so overcome with a mixture of happiness and relief that I don't know what I'm typing anymore. I actually feel...free. Amazing how a phonecall can do wonders huh. Never underestimate the power of a friend's concern. =)

Buddy, I heart you till the end of time! That's a promise okays, from a xiaomei to her number 1 da ge. =)

i scribbled at
2:25 AM

I'm in a super good mood today! My moodswings are really scary mans. Last night was just so so so low. Eeks.

Went shopping with mummy! And I bought dresses. Haha. Nothing like retail therapy to perk me up! I love shopping! Whee. =)

And it totally helped that the store was playing super nice songs! I heard this song I've always liked, but somehow the title escaped me. And I was humming it all the way home cos' I was so afraid of forgetting the tune. You know how it is la. Anyways, I was determined to hum it to someone and ask for the title! Lol.

As luck would have it, I was just randomly looking for mtvs on youtube and I found it!! Omgoshh ultra happyness!!

F.I.R's 月牙灣. =)

Yes yes I know it's hard to believe that I forgot, but I really did! And I love this song. Yays! Actually, I love almost all their songs. It's crazy-high but I just love singing them at ktv. Madness haha.

So happy! It's fated la. =p

Dance prac later; I can finally remember almost every dance step! But I dance no seyy leh. Sad-ed. Ohwells. Maybe I do better at chinese dance. HAHA.

Steamboat with cam'on tomorrow! But it's at freaking pulau ntu. Omgoshh la. Damn lazy to travel! Haii. Bo pian haha.

Happyness! =)

i scribbled at
5:49 PM

I don't know why time seems to be passing so slowly tonight.

Thought it's already at least 2plus, 3am, but nope, it's only 1plus in the morning.

Long day today, what with interview stress and tuition at night. Surprisingly, though, I'm not really sleepy now..can't quite get to sleep though I was tiredd earlier.

My emotions are on a rollercoaster ride; it's driving me nuts. Swinging from one extreme to the other. Arghhh.

I was, pretty amazingly, not very nervous before the interview today. I think I was feeling more hot and bothered by the noonday heat which turned to strong winds and rain just before I left the house. Anyways! Interview went pretty well..felt more like a conversation with a friend rather than being interviewed by the account director.

And for those who are wondering, no, I did not apply for an accounting-related position. Everyone so far who's heard the word "account" in the job title are near-flabbergasted that I would actually consider an accounting based job. Haha. Please la, those who know me will know that my accounting is CMI to the max.

Hoping that maybe I can get an affirmative reply soon! I like the fact that the company's quarters is shophouse-style. And that they're not averse to hiring fresh grads. I like my interviewer! Super nice and pretty lady. =)

I sound so chipper here now, but barely 2 hours ago, I was totally down in the dumps. And I don't know why!

It's not good to think too much. Worst still when the thoughts are all random and pop up with no warning whatsoever, no particular sequence, and completely no link to one another.

dontthinksomuchdontthinksomuch.

I badly need to meetup with/talk to my buddy. But he's so busy with work..sighh. I miss those days nights of hours-long phonechats and yakking still more whenever we meet.

I miss my number one! I have so many many million gazillion things to tell you..I just need to let loose a barrage of emotions mans. Seriously. And the other person I'd like to yak to is also, unfortunately for me, very busy.

I can't find the pictures I want!! Or rather, he wants needs. Love the www but sometimes it's just too huge to narrow down to the specifics. Not everything can be googled, really. Info overload to the max.

I need to get my emo under control..I hate to lose control, and it doubly sucks when more than one person asks if you're alright.

Almost all the time when I say I am, it's a lie.

What can I say, I'm a good liar.

But now, I don't know why I'm not alright. Though I suspect the answer will be brought forth with a little probing deep into the recesses of the place I call my heart.

Maybe I just don't want to know. Escapism, yeah yeah.

It's back to what I thought I overcame..although at one period of time things got so bad, it was as though I was leading a double life.

Shit la I think I'm totally typing rubbish, and I don't know what I'm saying. As a person I'm already quite random, but you should just see what goes on in my mind and head.

Absolute mayhem.

My life is in a mess. I feel damn crap.

How possible it is to feel lonely in a crowd.

i scribbled at
1:32 AM

I had the perfect life. Or, as perfect as life could get for me.

And then it became a nightmare.

Saw a light at the end of the tunnel, but..

Turns out an abyss was at the end.

Fuck la. What did I do to deserve this?

Forget it. I'm just being emo and, I suspect, pms-ing.

I know problems and challenges in life are supposed to help you to grow and blah blah, but I don't want to grow up so soon, can?

Lost the person I could always turn to, and I've become the one they turn to. But I can't undertake this responsibility. It's driving me nuts.

I don't want to try and be happy when I'm not. I want to cry and be a silly goose and wish for the impossible.

Just let me be ridiculous for one night.

It'll be over in the morning..

i scribbled at
1:15 AM

I think I should start sleeping earlier on saturday nights. It's always a torture waking up early on sundays. And I'm droopy-eyed in jap class. Haha.

Kinda spaced out a little during discussion meeting too..then again, I don't always manage to catch everything cos' it's all in chinese!

My chinese buay zai la. Haha.

Plus, I'm very new to this religion so I don't understand everything even though I've been exposed to it since I was really young. Maybe it's a kind of fate that I'm gradually accepting it now. To think that not so long ago, I was coming up with every excuse possible just to avoid meetings and such. I suppose it was the way some people tried to bring me in la. Damn turned off.

That said, I have nothing against the religion. Any religion, for that matter. So long as it's not occult. Haha.

I don't know how devoted I'll be to this. As it is, I still feel a little in between religions at the moment. Much as I'm inspired by the testimonials I hear, there's still hesitation somewhere deep down la. Not so simple to just give up what I've believed in for so long, and switch to one which is the complete opposite.

Was feeling really philosophical and talking about serious life issues with my sister just now. Haha. We're so similar, yet different in some ways. I only realised today that I'm much more a risk taker than she is, and I'm not one who cares for earning big bucks by working my ass off at a deskbound job.

Imagine if I work like crazy and save up lots of money, but what if I die before retirement? Damn wasted right.

Fate lies in our own hands, but certain things that fate has in store for us can't be changed. Like life's ending, for example. But wells, I've told cheryl everything I want her to know! So whatever happens, I'll have no regrets cos' there will be a closure, no matter what.

I'm multitasking now, blogging and watching the table tennis finals at the same time. This olympics I haven't been watching much though I'm pretty free with no work. I seriously doubt singapore can win the gold, but jiayou all the same! =)

Ohh shucks I haven't finished doing company research for tomorrow's interview! Although I've read the website twice. Not a lot of information though..unlike the last interview I went for. That was a harrowing experience trying to prepare overnight.

Went for crabs with lings and cheryl just now! It was yummilicious! Don't know why mummy told me that stall's crabs aren't nice. The queue is simply crazy la. Heng we went early. And I bumped into thomas there! Small world can..he was there for dinner with his ymca colleagues. Maybe next time can have a cam'on crab outing there!

Ohh great singapore's losing. Gone case liao la. China matchpoint.

Waiting to watch synchro diving later, then it's off to ecp to cycle! So exciting, I haven't cycled for the longest time. I love the beach mans..if only the starlit nightsky is more clearly visible here.

Today's been a rather hectic day it seems. But pretty much enjoyable! Considering I have an interview tomorrow, I'm really very slack. Oops.

And I finally changed the wipers on my car! Went to three freaking petrol stations before I finally managed to find one which sold the wipers and had an attendant who knew how to do it for me.

Now the wipers clean my windscreen nicely! No longer foggy. Yayness! =)

Saw an audi R8 on the roads twice today, not sure if it's the same car but whoa. To see it twice in a day is really quite..rare. But it somehow didn't seem very nice lehh..Saw an audi TT too! And many other gorgeous power cars..highh mans. I also want my own!!

Speaking of cars, I had the worst parking experience ever today la. Now that I think about it, I think I was so exasperated that I just hurled out the four-letter F word. Haha. Kept an entire carpark-full of cars waiting while I reversed in and out of a freaking lot. I just couldn't park the car without hitting the next car! Angle really matters sia. I bet the only reason why no one horned me was because they saw my p-plate, and the fact that I'm a girl. Bleahh.

Just entertained my darling baby nephew and I'm tiredd! Babies' energy is really limitless. And they're attracted to so many different things! He kept aiming for my handphone and laptop la. Goodness.

Okays back to olympics!

i scribbled at
7:48 PM

Caught 12lotus yesterday! I don't know why I kept thinking it's a pre-quel to 881, but anyways, there isn't a link at all, save for the getai setting and some members of the cast.

The movie's not bad, though I prefer 881..haha. More tragic elements in 12lotus and less of the glittery flamboyance which I loved in the former. Watching both movies remind me of how getais were so much more prevalent during my childhood..I kind of miss watching them.

Was reading the papers this morning when I saw the article talking about money no enough 2 and 12lotus' efforts at promoting the films at getais. While both fall into the category of homegrown films with a touch of singaporean-ness at heart, somehow, I much prefer royston tan's style to jack neo's. Maybe what appeals to me is not just the everyday life of singaporeans spelt out on big screen, with jokes and dialect thrown in. I guess royston tan made the right choice to use a getai setting. Something we don't often see, and a scene which plays out in the heartlands once a year. Yet, it's becoming so much more digitalised and modern, as compared to 10 over years ago. Then again, this is purely my personal opinion la. What appeals to me, I guess.

And I think mindee ong looks pretty good as a getai peformer! Credit goes to her costumes as well, but I just love the whole ensemble. Haha.

Sang ktv for the upteenth time in weeks yesterday! But I never seem to learn any new songs. Just keep singing the same old songs..haha. Still, it's fun! And I got a call in the middle of ktv-ing, asking me to go for an interview on monday la. Omgoshh I can just imagine the reaction of the lady on the other end of the line. Calling up an interview candidate, only to hear ultra loud singing and music in the background. Oops.

Need to do company research this weekend again..ohmans. I hate going for interviews! And I'm not even really sure what's the role of the position I applied for. Yikes. I just apply apply apply and..wait for phonecall. >_<

Started my day with a reminder to live my life in a way that's full of life. I think I'm literally quoting. Haha. But it was a timely message which caught my attention..all along I've advocated the quote dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. I still believe in it, but to be honest, I'm not living everyday like it's my last.

What I know, though, is that life is really much too short to have regrets. And I seriously suspect, my lifespan isn't going to be very long. Haha. More than one person, professional or otherwise, have basically spelt out the bottomline that my life is pretty much going to be filled with trials and tribulations. Regardless of whether I believe in such things or not, I take whatever I hear with a pinch of salt. Anything's possible, after all.

And yeah..how true it is that it takes courage to turn our sufferings into hope. I have alot more to learn it seems..just knowing the theory isn't going to be enough.

Thankyouu for starting my day with that very insightful and inspirational message! =)

Anyhows! Going to the careerfair later with my darlings, then it's dinner with them! Yippeeee. I've been having so many gatherings and meetups that I think I've more than made up for all the times I was too busy to go out with my friends. Lol. But it just never seems enough! Only problem is, everyone thinks I'm happily slacking my life away and not intending to jobhunt.

Irritating can! Most irritating is when your own mum thinks the worst of you at every turn. Arghh.

But I'm used to it la. And so is cheryl, it seems. She woke up full of annoyance this morning and promptly started "abusing" my ears with all her grumbles about..ahem. Can't say I blame her..for someone of her character, to be forced to do things against her will must really suck. But who can I side la..one's my mum, the other's my sister, I'm caught in between as usual. And I'm always the one tasked with nagging the sister. Do I look like my occupation is a nagger. Wahlau.

I seriously think I should consider a job as a negiotiater. And I know how to use tact. After years of practice, I'm honing my skills more and more.

Okay la that's crap. Haha. Just take one day at a time and see how things go..maybe monday's interview will change my life! Lol. At any rate, I'm keeping to my life's motto(s).

And so ends this extremely long blogpost. Time for lunch!

I was never the peacemaker; you were. But I'll try cos' I know that's what you'd want.

i scribbled at
12:37 PM

I love the movie enchanted!!

Omgoshh I can't believe I didn't watch it earlier la. Super nicee! =)

Somehow, watching this movie reminds me of how I used to believe in happily ever afters..whether in love or friendship. Not that I don't believe in that notion still; just that I've added a dollop of cynicism and pessimism to it.

I still remember something I told joan back in tj..that I truly believed in friendships lasting forever, till the end of time. I really, really believed in this wholeheartedly. And she was the one who looked at my perspective with a little more..realism?

And I told her, I'll prove it to her that I'm right. That friendships can last till the end of time, for all of eternity.

There was once after that, not too long ago, when I was ultra down and jaded with everything around me. And dear joan reminded me of what I told her. Of what I said about proving that there is ever after. I've never said it, but I was really touched. And I will prove it for sure. =)

I feel so...happy, after watching enchanted. It's like something to remind me that life doesn't have to be so complicated, love and friendship and kinship can be built on a simple foundation.

I love that it reminds me of how I used to be, the way I used to think. Bordering a little on the idealistic side, perhaps, but fairytales and happy endings have always been the core of my fantasies when I was growing up.

Never was there a self-created story which didn't involve happily ever after.

Suddenly all the memories of things I used to do, thoughts I used to entertain, endings I used to adore, come rushing back to my mind.

I miss my childhood. I miss the times when everything was so simple. When I woke up with a smile each day, laughed my way through the day, and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Ohh! I fell asleep with a smile again last night. =) Something I haven't done so for a very long time..The last I can remember, was a dark period where tears accompanied me to sleep almost every night.

I feel so young all of a sudden. Scary that a movie can bring out so much emo-ness and thoughts in me. But I think that was just something I really needed.

It's so my kind of movie!! Omgoshh haha.

Thankyouu for telling me to watch it! I really, really love it. And I can see why you like it so muchh too. =)

Dreams do come true..and happily ever after is possible, really.

I'll always believe in this. =)

i scribbled at
7:14 PM

I think my sister is damn hilarious.

I love to listen to all her rubbish, watch her crazy gestures and observe her manymany facial expressions, cos' they never fail to put me in stitches. Haha.

We were grocery shopping at the supermarket earlier, and ended up at the aisle stocked with air fresheners and mothballs and whatnot.

cheryl: You know, I used to think those looked really edible. (pointing to mothballs)
geri: Huh? Those stinky mothballs?
cheryl: Ya. Last time grandma's cupboard always had so many, and they looked quite good to eat.
geri: Siao! You should have just eaten them la. Why you go and look at her mothballs for no reason!
cheryl: Aiyah of course I know cannot eat la. But whenever I felt especially hungry, I'd open the cupboard door and look at them lor.
geri: *about to collapse on the floor from excessive laughter*

Whoever reading this now will probably think, huh, very funny mehh. But I swear it was freaking hilarious when we were having the conversation! Words without her action and expressions just don't do justice to the above exchange. Lol.

I used to think my sister was a boring, spoilt brat who's aim in life was to annoy me to death. Haha. She really irritated the hell out of me la. To the point that I once hammered nails and locks into my drawers just to keep her away from my things. Needless to say, my study table was never the same again.

Come to think of it..we really had our fair share of catfights and shouting matches. We were just so different, like night and day. Everytime the karang guni man went by, I'd have the urge to sell her. Haha! A 5-year gap seems alot, but yet also quite little. Growing up, I guess we both matured quite a fair bit.

Actually I think she's more mature than me sia. I'll never forget the "scolding" I got from her for wearing my belt low (with a safety pin) in sec sch. Haha. She was, like, only in primary school then la! Wahlau. I totally didn't know how to react. My parents say me still never mind. Imagine your little sister berating you like a discipline mistress. =p

Though I've always said that she's one sister more than I need, deep down, I know I wouldn't trade her for any other sister in the world. In some ways..I feel bad that she's had to grow up before she should. A 17-year-old shouldn't have to deal with many things that we have to deal with now. But like I said..this little sister of mine is more mature than I am. To the extent that some people actually think she's the older one. Haha.

Ohwells..like what my parents have said all along, we have only each other, and it's by fate that of all the people in the world, we ended up as sisters. That's why we should cherish each other. Yeah, I'm starting to see the value in these words more and more.

She still annoys me pretty often and shows attitude whenever she feels like it, but if she didn't..that would really be a problem.

Wow pretty amazed at myself for dedicating an entire post to cheryl! I've never been very articulate with my feelings verbally; I do better on paper and in actions. This is probably as emo as I'll ever get. Haha.

Thanks my darling xiaomei, for being the dajie to me ever so often. =p Like what you always like to say, sisters forever! Loveyou babe. =)

i scribbled at
3:33 PM

Feel quite slack today..despite having to wakeup early for jap class. Coffee didn't work for me though. Kept dozing off in class..so many groups of verbs la! Confusing to the max.

Drove lings and I home after that..pretty glad that we didn't go dance prac in the end. I think I'd probably have ended up sleep-dancing. If that's even possible. Haha.

Was looking through my photos on the computer..and I chanced upon the pictures taken a year ago today.

I'd give anything to go back to that day.

Anyways, caught "the mummy" last night. I thought it wasn't too bad, even though my dear cousin said that everyone who has watched it said it's kinda lousy. I guess it's because I didn't watch the first two movies. Sequels are seldom better than their predecessors.

I need retail therapy. Really, really need.

Went shopping with lings yesterday but I didn't buy anything la. Siann. I hate the feeling of being restricted by finances..I don't think I'm a very jialat spendthrift, but I do want the freedom of just spending on whatever catches my eye at times. Especially when I'm feeling down.

Like right now.

Retail therapy hasn't failed me thus far..only my bank balance has. Puiii.

Wahlau I don't know what I'm typing la. Random random..feel like just going out for a drive, but the roads are crowded today. And I don't like to drive in rainy weather.

In a world of my own.

i scribbled at
5:40 PM

Affairs of the heart can be so filled with happiness, but also full of headaches.

Talking to my dear senior and hearing his situation now kind of gives me the deja vu feeling.

Which is one reason why I wanted to know your answer to their question..

Once bitten, twice shy. I don't want to let myself be stupidly hurt anymore.

Hearing him share his story and the current situation really brings back memories which I think may be better forgotten. Yet at the same time, if not for the past, I might not be the girl I am today, or think the way I think in this present.

The past does indeed shape our present, and future.

It's easy to dish out advice, but not so easy to follow it ourselves. I remember those five years being a game of hide-and-seek with me, myself and I.

I guess all these past experiences have jaded me somewhat. I no longer believe in love at first sight, and no longer dream of fairytale endings as much as before.

Back then, everything was so simple. Before I understood the meaning of heartbreak, and being hurt by someone you love. Experiencing all that, though, really wisens a person up. Less innocence, and more cynicism.

Buddy always tells me, it's better to be loved more than to love. At least, for girls la. But I'm not sure if I'll be happy with someone who loves me more than I love him. Can't really fathom that situation.

Best case scenario? Mutual love. Haha. Not easy to find though.

I really feel for my senior sia..that feeling sucks to the max. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy.

I really hope you'll solve this problem soon ya..it took me 5 years to stop running away from reality. I hope your day of revelation will come ultra, ultra soon. *huggs

I miss my buddy..haven't exactly seen him since..convo? If you're reading this buddy, we are so gonna meet up soon okays! Fill me in about your life! =)

I quite like my life now. Save for the jobless part. Haha. In some ways..I'm on a quest for answers to questions which fill my mind, yet at other times, I tell myself, why even bother?

I believe that fate has a hand in crafting out our life's journey, but I also believe that fate lies in our own hands. It's up to us whether or not we want to change what we can, and to some extent, even what seems impossible.

Today's post seems so..philosophical. Haha. I used to blog in such a way awhile back. All the retrospective viewpoints and opinions..

There's a really good friend I want to thank (once again =p) before ending though. For allowing this side of me to resurface once more, a personality I kept under the surface since my last failed relationship, and since all the unhappiness stemming from last year's events.

I've missed that side of me for quite awhile now. The "me" which got suppressed cos' he didn't like it. Cos' I wasn't living up to his expectations, and wasn't behaving the way he liked.

On hindsight, I wonder why was I stupid enough to actually keep that part of me hidden just because he wanted me to. I have never been one to lose my individuality since the day I decided on how I want to live my life as a person. Am just so glad I mustered the courage to jump off that sinking ship.

This has been a really long and rambly post..not quite emo, yet it has made me recall many things and reflect on feelings and events, past and present.

What the future brings, I do not know. All I want is less ambiguity in my life as far as is possible, and more happiness for everyone around me.

Everything happens for a reason, the result of a cycle called cause and effect. I truly believe in it.

And I believe that no matter what, our efforts will pay off someday. Take heart in that. =)

i scribbled at
2:26 AM

Today was singsong day again!

I've been ktv-ing so often lately, it's as though I'm making up for the one over year hiatus I had. Haha.

But loving every minute of it! =)

Finally bought my mummy's bday gift..don't know if I should have gotten something more within budget, seeing as how my finances are kind of limited..but I think it's really suitable for her current needs.

She'd better use it sia! If not, I'll use. Lol.

For a moment today, I thought that she'll support whatever decision I make with regards to jobhunting. And I was actually sincerely happy for that 30seconds la. Turns out otherwise. Siann.

Seems that I pretty much have an idea of which path I want to take, just that it clashes with what I supposedly should take.

I'm hungryyyy. >_<

Okay that was damn random but I really am! Not that there isn't food at home but..can't decide what to eat.

Suddenly have this craving for the pizza and brownie at cafe domus. =(

Chanced upon this really nice shop at amk hub just now! It's called art box, and sells the prettiest stuffs la.

I'm a sucker for paper. I really am.

And so, I'm now the happy owner of 2 new notebooks which I want, but don't actually need.

Shitshitshit..someone stop me from buying all these stuffs!

The only solution I can think of for now is to open my own shop. HAHA. Then I can shop from there whenever I like! =p

What a bimbotic statement la. Machiam wanna open shop can open just like *snap* that.

I think I'm blogging for the sake of blogging today. So used to the frequent posts lately that even if I have nothing particularly interesting to blog about, I'll still squeeze some random crap out.

Sorry to bore everyone to tears. Haha.

And ohh! I actually got that tuition assignment! Can't believe it..so now I have the rest of this week to figure out how to tutor english to a sec 4 student.

One bright spot I see is that tuition = income = money to pay for necessities and bills. Yayy. =)

Okay I'm either really going to find food now, or go to lalaland.

Nites world!

My thoughts are in a mess and I haven't been able to unscramble them. Help, anyone?

i scribbled at
11:49 PM

Yay I've finally gotten my hands on ALL the cambodia photos/videos!

It's like I-dunno-how-many gigabytes huge la. Goodness. My laptop doesn't have enough memory space can. *faints*

Thank goodness for external hard drives. Haha.

Have yet to look through all of them..I think it'll take me the better part of a day. Lol.

Dinner and ktv with cam'on was great! Really enjoyed myself..and the room we were given was comfy to the max la. Shall go there and sing next time!

In the midst of trying to secure a tuition assignment..a bit hard to believe that I'm turning to tuition again after saying the last time that I never will teach anymore. Haha. Maybe cos' my last student was such a nightmare. But he was quite a sweet kid all the same. Ohwells.

Am going to school later to settle stuffs, collect something from the office and return mabel her hdd! It's going to feel so weird walking amidst all the students later la. Confirm got familiar faces one. Haha. I miss ntu! =(

My direction now is swayed yet again..after listening to thomas' views on finding a job that night, I thought that maybe I can really follow passion over what's "right". Then after taking into consideration the stack of bills/loans I need to take over, it just doesn't seem practical to pursue interest over pay.

But now, after reading a particular speech I received through email..let's just say it's an affirmation of what I've always believed in. And now, I'm back to square one. Arghhh.

Feels like I'm really rushing into finding my first job, cos' I feel the stress of needing a freaking job. Of needing to be employed after slacking for so long. Yet, I still haven't quite found the path I want to take.

I really don't want to do what the average employee does. Work my life away, and all for what? Skarlie I won't even survive long enough to spend what I earn.

I can compromise material comforts for myself. But what about my family?

Headaches aplenty.

The next time you see me, whoever you are, don't ask me if I've found a job ya. I'll tell you when I do.

And let's hope that when that day comes, it'll be with a smile.

i scribbled at
10:38 AM

Sometimes I wish time could just stand still in my happiest moments. Or I could somehow record it all down and playback whenever I need a pick-me-up.

The feeling of utter bliss..

shi xing fu de. =)

You've been the reason behind many a silly smile of late, and also a major factor in how my relationship with her has improved the past few days. I hope you're not getting tired of hearing "thankyouu", though I wish there are more ways than one to saying this. Haha.

Thankyouu..
for exhilarating bike rides.
for crazy carspins, especially along race-worthy roads and mad roundabouts.
for the pinkk noddy sitting on my dashboard.
for bringing me to so many pretty pretty places.
for letting me be my unglam/chor lor self whenever I'm with you.
for showing me all the chio cars and stylo bikes!
for being my lunch/dinner/supper/durian/icecream kaki.
for being so RANDOM!
for the beautifully-wrapped gift that's damn useful. =D
for being so straight and ready to trash things out.
for bringing so much smiles and laughter into my life.
for being so irritating that I always want to smack you with my slipper.
for saying my angmoh very zai!
for helping me to "brush up" on my chinese. =p

I think that's a damn long thank you list. Machiam at some awards ceremony haha. But I'm not praising you to the skies or saying all that just to be nice okays. I really mean every word, and more.

Most of all, thank you for coming into my life, for being such an important part of it, and for being someone I really, really cherish from the bottom of my heart.

Loveyou! *huggs =)

i scribbled at
12:46 AM

I am so totally amazed at what I found out!

To think that some people say my angmoh zai, yet I never knew that dateline does not equate to deadline!

I seriously thought that it was just a different way of spelling the same word. Omgoshh!

This is what dictionary.com taught me:

dateline
noun
1. an imaginary line on the surface of the earth following (approximately) the 180th meridian
2. a line at the beginning of a news article giving the date and place of origin of the news dispatch
verb
1. mark with a date and place; "dateline a newspaper article"

dead·line
noun
1. the time by which something must be finished or submitted; the latest time for finishing something: a five o'clock deadline.
2. a line or limit that must not be passed.
3. (formerly) a boundary around a military prison beyond which a prisoner could not venture without risk of being shot by the guards.

Okay melvin, you win. Haha!

And there I was, really doubting your insistence that I'm wrong and you're right. Lol. Told you that I must check it out or it'll nag at me for as long as I don't. =p

This is a super boh liao post, but I just had to type it all the same!

Weekend's almost here again, and next week marks the new school term for all undergrads..I miss my ntu life. =(

Shall just concentrate on jobhunting..haii.

And for the upteenth time, I'm broke once more. Arghhh. I hate repaying loans! But at least this means I don't have to headache over ridiculous interest rates and monthly payments to the bank anymore. Guess I hate taking loans more.

Need a job need a job need a job!

i scribbled at
5:58 PM