Melvin just told me, "you're pessimistic".

And he's absolutely right.

I'm seldom like this..I always say, there are two sides to every situation. It's up to you whether you want to be happy or sad. If you can look at the same situation positively, why be negative?

But sometimes, it's just not so simple. When everything starts snowballing towards you at the same time..all the strength just crumbles.

And when I lose my strength..I lose everything. Indeed, it's both my strength and weakness..

One source of my strength has always been my daddy..I miss him so much, it hurts. When I need him the most now..the one person who understood me best, whose few words summarised exactly how I felt..who always made me feel that the sun shines after the rain. That no storm is too powerful to overcome.

The family doesn't feel like one without him. I found out, a little too late, that he was the glue keeping us all together after all. And without him..the cracks are falling to pieces.

I feel shattered, in more ways than one. I don't remember now what was it that's been keeping me going since he went away. Maybe friends? Family? Relatives?

I guess it all sums up to love. And knowing that there are so many people who want the best for me.

I'm trying; I'm trying to find back my characteristic strength.

And I will..I just need some time..

i scribbled at
3:08 AM