Was just thinking about my blogging frequency , and I've arrived at the conclusion that it's my way of keeping life in check and not let my days whiz past in a blur..plus, a good way of reflecting on happenings and staying in tune with my emotions.
Used to keep diaries but I've since become pretty lazy to write. Haha. My thoughts sometimes fly in and out so fast that my fingers aren't nimble enough to keep up.
Anyhows,
busy day again! This week seems set to bury me under a mountain of work. Let's hope I can survive the inevitable avalanche.
Witnessed the first case of conflict in office yesterday, and it's a darn harsh reminder of how workplace is nothing like school days. Where I'm no longer sheltered and protected by this shroud of innocence which somehow envelopes every student. I can
totally foresee myself being caught in a similar situation. Just a matter of how soon. Let's hope I'll have the strength and determination to tide through all that and more!
Had a rather
crash-down-to-reality conversation with my designer today, where I exclaimed in mock frustration:
me: "I just don't understand why can't they give us all their changes at one go!!"designer: "That's why they're called the client."It probably doesn't mean very much to those of you reading this, but it means
alot to me. The underlying meaning and hidden significance. Just that simple
one-liner of an answer, and it's stayed on my mind all day.
Quite a couple of things running through my mind, and I have a
gazillion thoughts which I badly want to pen down. But I no longer know where is the best place to do it; just how private is my blog? Not at all, I suspect. I don't mind sharing my thoughts and feelings because I want to; anyways, I know what to filter out and what not to talk about.
I was just thinking, why is it that humans can't be simpler creatures? Why was the word "facade" invented? And while I've always understood how there are two sides to every issue just like how there are two sides to a coin, why must this same principle apply to people?
I can't think of anyone I know who doesn't have two sides (or more) to them. I know for a fact that personally, I have
multiple sides to me.
Isn't it tiring to put up a facade? To treat me like a
friend in front of me, but to think otherwise when I'm out of earshot. It's so complicating; I don't even know how it came to this.
Mutual trust is important la. How much you trust him, only you will know. Don't drag me into the picture because of your insecurities. It's not my problem, okay? Playing hide-and-seek is tiring when you're not the seeker. And although I don't say it, deep down, I really feel that
slight bit of resentment at having to accommodate your...for lack of a better word now,
unreasonable nonsense.
I'm sorry for sounding nasty, but that's the truth. I'm a direct person by nature; I don't like to hide my feelings. I do it with tact though, so much so that you may not even know I'm referring to you even if you read this.
I'm damn
tiredd of losing what's important to me, time and again. Having already gone through something similar once, I'm not willing to go through it a second time. No one dictates how I should live my life, or who are the friends I should keep. I, and the friend in question, decide for ourselves.
Don't know why I'm ranting only now when this has been going on for some time. Maybe it's because I simply can no longer tolerate how you paint the picture to be. It's
warped logic which only your mind can comprehend, and such a
twisted version of the truth that you make me feel as though I'm committing a crime. Which is completely not the case.
Okays enough of this. I've never once let it upset me in all the times it's happened, but I really feel an inkling of unhappiness now. I can be a bitch and just confront you, but I know it's going to make things difficult for someone else, so I shan't. I'll just tolerate for now and see how long more can you continue this crap.
I don't mind going through this and being misunderstood; just don't make life difficult for others, okay? You can say whatever you like about me, I'm beyond caring. After all, the truth will come to light one day. But I don't want others to suffer the consequences of your misguided thinking.
Rantings and
more rantings. Not a healthy way to end the day. Nevermind, at least I've gotten my emotions in check now.
Chill chill
chillaxxx.
And I miss you so. 
