If yesterday was considered bad, today was...I don't know. Indescribable.
As in, indescribably
worse.
Getting screwed upside down first thing in the morning at a meeting by a client is no fun at all. Trust me on that. It's like how people always say the customer is king? Yeah.
The client is king, too. And queen and everything else.
Suddenly seeing the big picture why my probation is 6mths long. Just barely into my 2nd mth and suddenly all the shit comes at the same time. If probation had only been a month, I'd probably have a fairly glowing report.
Feel damn bad that my senior had to cover for me even though the project's actually mine..looks like I still have alot to learn about how things
should have to be done.
Being the middleman is really
shit. At least if I'm a designer, I wouldn't have to care about the client's tantrums or receive verbal abuse. What more a client who's several hundred miles away.
I guess I knew what I signed myself up for when I took on this job..I just didn't expect that it could get so bad, so
soon.Back in school, no matter how tutors hated us or completely screwed us, things never got very bad cos' after all, it's just school and we're just students. In the workplace..
whoaa.
Major trauma.
Today's a lousy day alright..in the first place, the date itself is already a painful reminder of someone I've lost, one whom I love and respect dearly. The one I miss the most, the one I'd always turn to in times like these. A terrible day at work probably triggered the emotional overflow.
Couldn't even keep the tears in till I got home..and it was really free flow after that. Haven't cried so much in a pretty long while..and to think I told myself not to cry today. But that was before knowing that I'd have a trying day at work.
Feeling slightly better after a good cry though. One of the ways I destress..got home too late after OT, so couldn't go running. I still need to study jap, but I'm so
not in the mood.
Exhausted.At most fail then retake again..I hope I'll be given that option..only elementary level 1 and I can't handle.
Tomorrow's going to be worse if I can't deliver what we've promised. I'm already bracing myself for the worst..and praying that I'll have the strength to just go through my day no matter what happens.
I'm thankful to have my senior there today though. If not for her..I think I wouldn't stay as sane as I am now.
Please give me the inner determination I need to get through this. I know I can do it, I just need abit of reminder somehow..I'm actually praying for tomorrow to end. So ironic, coming from someone who supposedly loves her job.
Make that
like la huh. Love's too strong a word.
Then again..I've never been one afraid to love, and show it. Why should this be any different?
Shucks la I think I'm starting to ramble nonsense.
I need a break.
The darker the night, the nearer the dawn. 
